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Memories are on a journey

Memories are on a journey.
Mind is flipping the pages and heart is trying to read them.
Eyes focused on few moments
The moment which made me laugh
The moment which made me cry
The moment which connected me to my own people
The moment which flew me away from them at the same time

So many reels running through
Some want to go slow, very slow
Some want to go fast, almost skip
Some want to stay in this moment
Some want to pretend that they never happened
Some make me proud
Some leave me ashamed
Some leave me guilty
Some want me to atone

The moments
The memories
Why so much thought on these
They are so I am
I am so they are
Inseparable
Making me who I am for good or bad
These moments….memories….are and will always be with me
To collect and keep them close
Or
To ignore and throw them away
Will mark me
Will make me
Or
Will mar me

Memories will always be on a journey with me

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Uncategorized

It’s been quiet today

It’s been quiet today

The windows closed
The blinds shut
The doors unanswered
The knocks unheard
The sun stayed outside

Breath halted for long
Thoughts lost don’t know where
Steps wandered
Heart drummed
The mind was tired

The stars are shining
The moon swinging behind clouds
It’s grey but bright
What does it even indicate
No sadness, No happiness
Everything seems to have come to a stop

It’s been quiet today

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Life, Uncategorized

As if it was meant to be

It seems like a good dream
Don’t want to open my eyes
What if the spell breaks
What if I am still stuck where I am not supposed to be

What if it is true
The small neighborhood
The warm people
The thrilled kids running up and down the street
Selling lemonade at the corner of the street
The twins next door ringing the bell now and then to call out my girls to play
The happiness on my kids’ face
The joy and zest at the knock at the door

What if it is all a dream
Don’t want to open my eyes
What if the spell breaks
What if I am sill stuck where I am not supposed to be

I still turned around
To see if it is real
I even pinched myself twice
To feel if it is real
I waited long
To absorb it slowly

Wait

It is true
It is all true
My curse is broken
To be alone
To be new
To not belong
To not to be a nomad finally

My karma is all sorted out I guess
Repented for the sins
Paid for the past lives
I want to keep my eyes open
Take it all in but slowly
Keep my ears open
To listen to the canaries in my backyard

Finally it seems
As if it was meant to be
It was meant to be like this
To be able to wash off the past karmas
To be able to weave the goodness in new karmas
To be alone to reflect and repent
To be not known
To acknowledge more in the meaning of life

Finally it seems
As if it was meant to be

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children and family, Humor, Uncategorized

My kids talk and they talk a lot

My kids talk
And they talk a lot

The minute they get up in the morning, they open their mouth and all the nightlings start falling out. Mom, Gu-moning mom…I saw a monster in my dreams….Mom, I played with the pink fairy and she came to my room last night.. My little one is on and on and on….

Not far behind my oldest is falling out of the stairs, rubbing her eyes and I love her..she is actually the noise maker. If she is not actually talking…she is making noise with some part of her body..the feet…the hmm…..the hands (curse the cup song by Anna Kendrick)…., the noise just doesn’t stop.

Talking about the cup song…. All my plastic bowls and glasses are in groups of 3-4 all over the house. Not only my older one…but the little one is hooked to making the cup song music.. Anna, why did you come up with this genius idea?…. I have to give in to listening the grand rehearsals of the girls..while my hands not very far from the ears…

Don’t get me wrong…I love them…they are my kids after all…. But I didn’t sign up for this torture..grr.

My kids Talk
And they talk a lot

The mornings are gone..playing, yelling…trying to win the first chance to blurt out their loud thoughts to mom…come evening…you will think that they are tired of talking…. well may be……but no mam.. They are tired and their talking is crying and complaining and cat snapping…. Sometimes, I see them approaching me…I duck down or go running in other direction….only to be followed and found and hound….. Well they are my kids after all… Doesn’t matter if I have already had an “earful” day. What if I am already tortured for the day…..that doesn’t count…it came with the mom badge.

My kids Talk
And they talk a lot

I wind them up and it’s night night time….at last… Few moments of peace and quiet…Ha!….. Disguise it is… They are fast asleep and I am getting ready for my time…. I hear the noises on the kids’ monitor…… Hey give it back..you stupid … You are taking the body of my doll…it is dying here…. I go to my oldest’s room…she is blabbering in her sleep…. Throwing her arms..ready in hands on fight mode… I answer to her sleep talk… Pacify her and put her back to sleep…. Go back to my room…settle down….only to be moved by my little one this time..she is fighting with her big sister even in her sleep over the stuffed dragon they couldn’t share in the morning… I settle her down now…..and hurriedly go to my room and pray to fall deep asleep so that I don’t wake upto any more blabbering…. But I am a mother after all and they are my kids….my night is gone in sorting out their burning issues in their deep sleep..which in the morning are as burning as they were, an evening before…to be sorted out again…

My kids Talk
And they talk a lot.

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Life, Uncategorized

Hypnosis

She stood there, at the busy intersection of this metro city. Confusion in the heart and wandering eyes, she couldn’t decide which way to go. Going back home was not an option so early. She was actually running away from all of it.

She turned right, thought she can kill some time, walking around the busy roads. At least an hour will be spend. As she lift her foot to turn to the desired direction, she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. Amused, she turned her head and saw a man in his late 50’s. He was a stout, short and a bald man with no distinctive or noticeable feature.

I am making a film, he said and you are a perfect fit for the main protagonist. She is not glamorous and a simple Jane and looks just like you. He kept going on and on about this character, right there on the road.

She wanted to say, “leave me alone, I don’t know you. I just want to go”. She couldn’t say a word because he didn’t let her speak. It was the crowded part of the city. So many people but nobody is watching. She stood there hypnotized and kept listening to this man. He was a smooth talker for sure..the one who can hypnotize with words.

Before she realized, she was in a room with this man. He explained her the dialogues for the rehearsal. I cannot act and I am not an actress, is all that she managed to spit out. She started crying because she was overwhelmed with her problems. He calmed her like a child. He touched her in a way that she was numb.. She wanted to stop him..this man who was unknown, much senior, a hypnotist.. but couldn’t… He kept talking and talking smoothly and this girl couldn’t utter a word but kept crying of the pain ; of not being used right now ..but of the pain in her heart….

Suddenly, she came back to sense…she was confused as to why she was there… She pushed him away..not much harm was done till then.. She opened the door and ran out. He had the guts to follow her till the road. She glared back at him with a warning. He got it. The hypnotic spell was broken now.

She called for a cab and headed back home, still unable to figure out what happened, how it happened and why it happened..why her? Were there already less things to worry about that it added to the hidden skeletons in her cupboard.

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Uncategorized

Sleep

It comes tip toeing to the eyes
Gently caressing the eyelids with delicate feathers
Taking the soul far away in the land of amusements
Where everything is possible
I could fly to the farthest cloud
I could swim to the deepest oceans
I could play with stars
I could touch the pearls
A land of amusements and riches
Where I am who I am, Like nobody is watching

I am waiting for it today, almost missed her
May be she is round the corner, May be I can catch her
To fly again, to swim again
To meet me again.

Come sleep come…gently tip toeing and take me away with you.

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Life, Uncategorized

It is dull outside

Removed the curtains, first thing in the morning
Rubbed my eyes not once but twice
Couldn’t see the gold of the morning
It was dull outside

The sun was lazy, hiding behind the beloved cloud
I was up and about but not awake
The morning tea couldn’t do the magic today
It was dull outside

The mind was fuzzy and the eyes were swollen
The hands took time to move
Something was sinking in my heart
It was dull outside

No rising sun and no setting sun today
Just grays and limpy blues
The pastels look pale and the brights are hurting in the eye
It was dull outside

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