children and family, Humor, Life, Satire, Uncategorized

The Dance [ing] Moms

I don’t understand the hype about the “Soccer moms” and the “Hockey moms”(thanks to Sarah Palin). What about the “Dance moms”?…..See sounds new..doesn’t ring a bell…right?..Well that’s because…it’s just dance moms….so under-rated..seriously!

I have met the soccer moms who carry the badge so proudly..that you feel small…..
Soccer mom : so what sport does your child do?
Me : aaaaaahem…..HIP HOP :)))……
Soccer mom : cute is that? in ballet shoes and frilly tutus..
I am thinking in my head…did she even hear? I said HIP HOP and NOT BALLET…the ilks of the soccer clan…..

Hockey mom : I have to pick up my son early from the school today..he has a hockey match later in the noon.
Me : Wonderful..isn’t field hockey fun?( I was trying to connect with her since I played field hockey in my college days…..loooong time ago).
She actually looked at me with a horrified look and quietly replied, “actually, ice hockey..” and left.
How did I know that field hockey is obsolete now and ice hockey is the “in” thing…Especially, up north here…ice hockey is “the” game.

But my question is still the same…why hype it?….
Has anyone ever captured the emotion of a Dance mom ever?….What we go through?…a rage of emotions..rolling high and higher…on rehearsals and recital days.

It was the rehearsal day..yes we have rehearsals besides the regular classes..and if your kid is performing in more than one got to help the dance mom in carrying all the costumes through the corridors…the extra makeup kit..the extra hair do kit…shoes…and no wonder they always have family, friends, neighbors walking with them in the corridors…you just can’t do without it..moms sweat outside the dressing room making sure that their lovely dancers are dressed for the performance..touching up the makeup…the smog of hair spray haunts that place.

Besides that…these dance performances have a full step by step guideline of makeup “application” on the dancer..given to the moms…I spent like 80 dollars on the make up…i never would do that for myself…but now i have abundant make up (thanks to the dance studio)…I started applying the makeup on my 9 year old…”following the guidelines” and she moved…OMG…she moved and the liner was on her already blushed cheek..I was running out of time…had to do her hair also…..that was my last minute warning war zone…”don’t move or else…….don’t move or no dance…you moved now you lost the playdate…okay I am not taking you now”…..My blood pressure was off the window..sweat itching my eyebrows…my eyes were tired of focusing on small little face….where to apply what…she is still a baby…my daughter stood there frozen…

After she was ready, I told her… know sweetheart I am sorry for being mean…but next year, think about joining a sport like soccer, hockey or basketball…where I will come to see the performance and you can sweat as much as you want and get dirty and I will not bother…

On the actual Recital day, there was a whole different scene in the corridors of the auditorium. There were people behind the tables, selling flower bouquets to be presented to your dancers…a small bouquet of 5 flowers for 10 dollars…can you believe it?? I had to buy one..because i realized that i was the only one who didn’t have it..Tricks of the trade.huh!

The recital started..after few performances, dads started walking out…somebody had an excuse of their baby crying too much….some had to use the restroom and then hung out in the corridors and didn’t come back till the end..some were busy checking their mails and replying to the “important” ones….I bet they would have looked for the answers when their dancers would have asked specific questions…(giggling at thinking of the plight of those dads).. But there were some dads who actually enjoyed the performances and then some, who did participate in the daddy daughter dance…which was a finale performance…that was sweeeet!!!! Moms went crazy with emotion at that one….tears…sighs….appplauds……and then screams at the end…

Now tell me, is the life of a dance mom any easier?? Then why hype about others only ;).


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